Forbidden Desires

There she was, lying down lifeless on the bed, almost naked now. I can see her buttocks and thighs staring up at me, urging me on as my erected penis rose up to the occasion. I moved forward to the bed, sat down at the edge away from her and stretched my hand slowly, and started caressing her thighs gently.

No movement from her and so spurred and encouraged, my confidence pushed me on to do more. I checked her face to see if there was any reaction, none. It was blank almost lifeless. Now my confidence has grown although my hands still shook, I touched her exposed buttocks and rubbed it, God this is so wrong and yet it feels so good. Arrrrh, God, what am I doing.

“Tom, what are you doing?” I heard my inner voice asking me.

“Are you sure you want to do this, think about what you are doing to yourself, your family, think clearly about what you are about to do.” The voice persisted.

I was so turned on and yet scared at the same time, gently I removed my hands, unzipped my trouser and lay down on the bed beside her and as my head touched the pillow, I was taken back to the beginning, when I was small, when I was innocent. I was taken back to the beginning.

Tom! Tooooom! Thomas!

“YES MUMMY!” I screamed in response.

“Are you deaf, I have been calling you since morning?” My mother angrily scolded.

“Sorry mummy, I didn’t hear you, I was outside playing.” I sheepishly replied, eager to go back outside and join Jesse and kabiru who were busy chasing the dragon flies and killing them with brooms, our favorite sport that season.

“Play play, c’mon go and call your sister for me, remind her to come with the ledger book now because I want to go out to the shop.”

“Ok mummy.  Sister Faith mummy is calling you.” I replied dashing out of the room in a flash.

“I’m in the bathroom” sounded the quiet response from my elder sister.

“Sister, mummy is calling you.” I knocked on the bathroom door.

“I’m in the bathroom tom, come inside, it’s open.” She replied.

“But sister daddy said I should not be entering the bathroom when you are inside.”

“Is daddy here, come inside jhoor and tell me what you want to tell me. I don’t have strength to shout.” She replied.

And so I walked into the bathroom with my sister bathing and delivered the message.

My father has always been against my mother and elder sister undressing in my presence, or even being totally nude. My mother always countered this argument by claiming that I was a baby and it doesn’t matter if I saw her or my elder sister nakedness and so my sister was caught up in the same trend, she often undressed and even asked me to apply lotion on her back and when her female friends came over, they all walked around nude not giving a care in the world whether I was there or not. I was 5 when it started but I figured it started long before then, I can only start recalling bits and fragments of naked episodes that wouldn’t just go away and so I was exposed to the female body at a very tender age. Thanks to my mother and elder sister.

10 Years later I was fifteen when I had my first girlfriend, she was 21, my sister’s friend and the first girl that made me a man as she was responsible for taking away my virginity. She was Faith’s closest friend, and usually came to spend their semester break with us or if school was on strike. She lived in Port Harcourt and so most often instead of travelling back when ASUU went on strike, which was usually the case, she stayed at our house with my sister. They were like twins always moving around and they even looked alike. Our neighbors usually called her my daddy’s other daughter. Her name was Maryann and she was very beautiful, even more than my sister but my sister was taller and had bigger endowments.

That was my sojourn to this despicable life that I am living. I am 18 years old now and a 200 level micro biology student in one of the higher institutions here in the west, and within the time I had my first sexual experience and now, I have dated over 15 women, most of them older than me. I have slept with three of my seniors and two of my teachers back then in high school, one was a youth corper and the other was my chemistry teacher. I have dated a female lecturer in my school and two of my neighbor’s wives and one single mother who lived in the neighborhood. I have two sugar mummies, my best friend and course mate’s mother; of course he is not aware of this escapade and my mother’s closest friend and business partner.

Despite all this women in my life, I am still not satisfied. There is one I love so much infact it has become an obsession. I dream about her all the time and fantasize about her every day and even worse, I see her almost every day infact she lives in our house and it’s no other person than Faith my elder sister. Yes, I know what you must be thinking; I am crazy, abomination, incest. Yes I know but I don’t care. I have been in love with my sister right from my childhood days, lusted over her even before my small mind could understand the concept of lust, I have loved her, and she is my first love and possibly my only true love.

We are so close, till now she still goes nude in my presence, unaware of the effect it has on me. I have her naked pictures in my phone although heavily coded, pictures I took whenever she was undressing in my presence while pretending to be chatting, I would secretly take shots of her for future sexual rendezvous in the toilet with my bathing soap. My first solo sexual experience was at the age of 13, when I masturbated to her nudity. I had just come back from school, when she came out from the toilet and walked into my room stark naked, asking me what I was going to eat. Then she went ahead and even dished the food still naked, that night I masturbated so many times I fell asleep exhausted to the core. That was when I started masturbating until I had my first real sexual encounter two years later.

I love my sister so much, the slightest chance or opportunity I have to get close to her, I seize it, romancing and caressing her whenever I can. She calls me her first and true boyfriend, and whenever we are together I always ask for a kiss which she playfully obliges, if I’m going out or if she comes back from a trip or an outing, I ask for a kiss. It’s now a tradition. When I wake up, I make sure she gives me a morning kiss and before I go to bed, I must get a good night kiss. To her, it’s just brotherly and sisterly love, but to me, it is much more than that. Whenever we sleep on the bed, I make sure I touch her when she is fast asleep of course. Either I fondle her boobs, or I place my hands on her thighs and rub gently careful not to wake her up.

I have become lean and sick due to this obsession and the fact that I can’t have her kills me. It has affected most of my relationships because the others feel I am cheating on them, well, they are right but what they don’t realize is the fact that I am cheating on them with the thoughts of my blood sister. One time an ex saw a naked picture of my sister in my phone, my saving grace was that she had never seen my sister before or else, it would have ended much more badly than the screams, insults and bad break up that resulted from the pictures. Since then I have doubled, no tripled my phone security to avoid future occurrence.

There was a party although I was invited but I declined because I knew I was going to get jealous seeing my sister with her boyfriend. I decided to stay at home; of course my parents were out of the country as usual for one business trip or another. So it’s just I and my sister.  She came back around 5am, drunk to stupor and passed out immediately on the sitting room couch after throwing up all over her body and the floor. I had to strip her naked, clean her up, mop the floor and carried her to the bed, covering her with her white blanket.

“Tom, what are you doing?” I heard my inner voice asking me.

I’m back to the present now. This is the chance I have been waiting for all my life. My sister is passed out alone and naked with me. I have removed my trousers and boxers, and I am lying down beside her, holding my condom in my hand. This is it, there is no going back. God please forgive me for what I am about to do but I cannot help it. It is not my fault, she caused it herself, and she exposed me to this kind of life. If I had not been exposed to the female anatomy at such a tender age, maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess today. If only my mum had listened to my dad and kept me away from seeing their nakedness, maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t find myself in this present situation but now there is no going back, this is my chance and I must do what I have been fantasizing to do for a long time and afterwards ask for forgiveness. God help me.


The End

King Maker

I’ll tell u my sins, because I’m human

But you will only say it’s a woman

Often believe my death is near

But maybe tis just fear

My conscience was born blind, yet it got humor

Because I always smile when at a funeral

If only the gods weren’t crazy, I would have met her

Not later after I’ve fallen, but sooner

Wingless and halo less, the only paradise I know

Is when I’m warm, right inside her hole

We were born sick, so I love you

To be well, love me too

To err is human, men were born 2 strive

Turn your back once, inside is shoved a knife

To love is divine, so I give her my life

And trust true love to heal all wounds

To repair mankind’s internal ruins

We are not Romeo and Juliet

Yet I’m her first and she’s my last in life’s alphabets

I was born a Christian, with one God

Has so much love, on the cross he shed his blood

She was made a goddess, with no rule

On bended knees, I worship her daily in d bedroom

If I was a bird I’ll be a bat to see in the dark

That’s when she sleeps, beautifully stark

A goddess indeed, born in paradise

Yet the only blood she requires, is a mental sacrifice

A thousand times she has been named, a heart breaker

But nay she is superior to mediocre, she is a King maker


I thought it was the right thing to do then, I had no idea what was happening I felt it was one of those everyday occurrences and I didn’t wanna be a victim anymore.  I’m sorry I hurt you so much, if there was a chance to turn back the hands of time, I will gladly and desperately do it. I am going to keep apologizing until even I can forgive myself, how do I expect forgiveness from you, when I can’t  even forgive myself for what I did to you.

I read the message again for the tenth time and then I deleted it again, unable to send it. I rolled from the bed to the floor and squeezed my phone so tight my knuckles almost turned red. What can one say to a heart that has been broken and shattered into a thousand pieces, words can never be enough to apologize to her for the pain and embarrassment I caused her, what is wrong with me, what was I thinking. Oh Gosh, I held my head with my hands and screamed at the top of my lungs… I’m so stupid so stupid so fucking stupid.

Seven days earlier…

I boarded a bus from ShopRite bus stop at the mainland heading to Obalende, I was the third passenger to enter the bus and so I chose the first roll behind the driver and sat by the window, my favorite position whenever I am riding in a bus because of the view and the breeze. Soon after the passengers started trooping in at each bus stop until the bus was filled to capacity, and then with it came my usual panic and apprehension. I have been a victim of pickpockets twice in my life and both experiences were in my adulthood here in Lagos, now I was paranoid to the point of insanity. Usually the first thing I do whenever I’m inside a bus is to monitor and observe my space, usually the person seated behind me, and so the moment I checked and it was a lady, I was relieved a little. Hey it still didn’t stop me from being overly conscious and repeatedly touching my back pocket for assurances that my wallet was still intact.

After paying and collecting my change from the conductor, I put my earpiece on and started my normal ritual of playing all my favorite songs on my playlist with my Galaxy Phone, it seemed I drifted away to the sweet melody of the music, oblivious to the noise in the bus and the smell associated with the streets of Lagos State, when suddenly I felt a nudge on my buttocks and my instincts instantly became alert. I froze, trying to ascertain if it was someone’s knees nudging my back from behind or a hand trying to bring my worst nightmare to reality. So the nudge came again, this time around the hand was groping for my pocket, I was so shocked at first I had to summon up courage just to switch off my music and pay attention to my surroundings, and then I felt it so real this time around. It was indeed a hand inside my pocket. Instantly I reacted, grabbing and squeezing the hand with all my strength.

Thief! Ole! I screamed. Turning back I saw the young lady totally and utterly shocked at being caught red handed.

“Wetin happen? wetin be that?” The passengers asked confused.

“Who be that inside my bus, who be that ooo?” The driver thundered from the driving seat, turning back to figure out what the problem was.

“Driver face your front o, abeg. Driver focus for road abeg na bridge we dey.” Different voices kept sounding out.

“Thief, you were trying to steal my wallet, are you not ashamed of yourself? I asked enraged as her silence confirmed her guilt.

She attempted to steal my money.” I answered the faces around me, all asking the same questions in different voices.

“Guy you sure? The conductor asked. How this fine girl like this go be thief”
“Them dey write am for face?  The elderly woman beside me asked. Hissing loudly. Oleburuku.  Na asewo she be na, you no see her cloth.”

“Kai! the first time I enter the bus, as soon as I see her I just know say this one no be ordinary human being” another voice spoke from behind.
“All this fine girls, na thieves them be finish, them just fine for nothing.”
“So wetin we go do her now, make we burn am?”
“Ha, mogbe o! Finally she screamed. I am not a thief please. Please don’t kill me I am not a thief. Ahhh mummy o!” She wailed.

I almost felt sorry for her. “Shut up there! The conductor roared. No be you I carry one night wey no pay. If you talk again now I go push you from this bus now. Ole, oloshi. Na so them go just dey use witchcraft they deceive and destroy men anyhow. God don catch you today.” He spat out.

“Please it’s enough let’s not result to jungle justice here, we are not animals neither are we barbarians. We are civilized people and so let us act like one.” The man in suit sitting beside her spoke.

“Omoilewe! Professor, shut up there what do you know. Abi na the two of una plan am sef.” The elderly woman spoke again.
“What do you mean by that madam, I won’t take such accusations from you, and I demand an apology this instant.”

“Na craze dey worry you, you hear.” She replied hissing loudly.

“Let’s just report her to the cops instead, after all she didn’t succeed” A young girl sitting with a guy I believed was her boyfriend spoke up timidly.

“Cop ko plate ni. The conductor replied. Abegi make I hear word for here. Everybody wan speak English”

“Hey illiterate watch it, don’t talk to her like that.” The boy defended her. Now I knew he was her boyfriend for sure.

“Please I am not a thief, please” by now she was crying really hard and so I felt really bad for her so I spoke up.

“It’s okay please, no harm done; I believe she has learnt her lesson. Next time you might not be this lucky. Beautiful girl like you reducing yourself to a common thief, I’m disappointed in you.”

“Thank you young man, you are truly a generous and responsible lad” The man on suit spoke again.

“Hisssssssss! Woman wrapper.  The elderly woman attacked him again. Why are you thanking him on her behalf, you think I didn’t see the way you have been looking at her.”

“You no go die better if you don’t shut up and mind your business. How could you have seen such from the front seat? Liar!”

“Ahh ahh oga. I thought you were a gentle man na, why such language.” Someone else replied and before he could respond.

“Obalende o!” the conductor shouted.

“Owaaaaa o!” several voices echoed. And so we all jumped down and as I looked, she hurriedly walked away with tears dropping down her eyes, she boarded a bike immediately she saw one and he drove off in speed as if he knew what she was running away from.


Later in the evening after work, I got home tired and hungry. As I fell on the couch, I emptied the contents of my pockets and it was then I saw it. A piece of paper folded neatly, surprised and curios, I opened it and read the contents.

“Hi handsome, I’m Jumoke. I usually don’t do this but I can’t help myself 2day, I’m very shy, so I can’t speak to u not inside this bus anyways. Please call me on this number 080******46 so we could chat. I’ll be expecting ur call. Don’t mind my writing, u know d bus is moving. Bye.

It was then it dawned on me. She wasn’t picking my pocket as I suspected; she was giving me her number.

What can one say to such a person wronged this way?

Someone please help me out.

Moonlight’s Bliss


Sow a soft kiss

Planted on true love’s longing lips

And by that kiss

Pleasures immeasurably it guarantees

To wit I reckon an endless bliss

Where wars are fought naught, but duty please

A place beyond paradise behold an endless peace

Where hearts are kept safer than all the banks in Swiss

Miss, how much more shall my heart miss

the pleasures of your desirous kiss

From my waking moments to your beautiful sweet dreams

I shall war the night and keep the demons downstream

Till all that is heard is your passionate screams

As my release drops like a drunken sailor’s piss



Alpha love


I am the alpha, your heart desires I was chosen to grant

You are the omega of my heart

The origin of the foundation of my love

A love so immeasurable even the heavens and the earth aren’t enough

To contain or replace something so real

Even the gods and the angels bow to their knees

Your beauty on my head is a crown

Even lying six feet under the ground nothing can bring me down

You bring me to climax without sex

You do it with such regal grace

Loving you isn’t a competition against time nor a race

But the beginning of a true story that leaves every heart panting in rigorous pace

You elicit emotion none has achieved since time conception

Even the earth is stimulated to contraction

At the sight of another’s attention

Because only your eminence keeps kings at ease

My heart in human form born to please

And satisfies this hunger that always breathes


Ask yourself what matters most


The long hours you spend on Facebook and twitter chatting with friends who would unfriend and block you at the slightest provocation irrespective of the number of years you have shared or the number of Friendaversary you have both celebrated.

Ask yourself what matters most. The class mates who have good jobs and rich parents, who you always try to measure up to and please and yet somehow you never meet up to their standards or even feel fulfilled or satisfied but rather depressed and sad after every meeting or outing you go with them.

Or the job you find no satisfaction or pleasure in. When your career goal becomes your career gaol. You become a prisoner of your own dreams, while your mates are boasting about the fantastic jobs, promotional benefits and trips, raises and huge paychecks; you are barely making ends meet despite working long hours under strict and military like supervision from a boss that seems like the evil stepmother in the Cinderella story. Ask yourself what matters most. Going through life striving and licking ass controlled by fear of losing a job you hate and despise or quitting and facing unemployment in a country where the unemployed outnumbers the employed.

Ask yourself what matters most.

No skills

No money

Limited options


What matters most?

Even if you are to consider the last alternative which appears the easiest, you aren’t brave enough to even carry it out.

Do you spend your days and nights thinking about what might be and what hasn’t or do you stand up and start looking for satisfaction in experience since you can’t find it in qualifications.

Satisfaction and fulfillment parallel how much value we create for others.

Responsibility and productivity go hand in hand, often times when we feel responsible for and to something, to a large extent our productivity increases.

An idle mind isn’t just the devils workshop it is the dragon’s lair and you know who isn’t coming to save the princess stuck in there with the dragon, the knight in shining armor because you are both the princess and the knight in shining armor.

The only way to save yourself from your self is to be yourself and realize of all there is in life, you matter most and so all your energy and passion should be channeled into doing the most mundane things you felt mattered not and make it matter to you even if it means writing songs on a piece of paper with no hope of ever singing it, or drawing cartoons on a drawing book with no hope of ever using it, just keep doing it for that is the rope your prince charming is going to climb in from.

You will get more satisfaction chatting with a website where you can learn a lot of skills and qualifications and more fulfillment in getting intimate with a course you never knew existed and more pleasure in watching pictures and videos of sites and blogs sites, free by the way than chatting with the unfriendly friend on Facebook, Instagram, whatsapp or any other social media platform you only go just to chat and add friends who wouldn’t add value to your life in any way that will bring real satisfaction nor the nude or beautiful pictures you ask for and watch year in year out without adding a single dime to your bank account.

At the long run what matters most is how you see yourself.

Broken love


Like an animal on heat
I’m on a rampage to beat
this hunger and desire that got me fixated to a boiling point
Haunted daily i am a prey to my obsessions and its always on the hunt
intoxicated by a singular taste I end on sacred lips
my emotions are expressed from my sleeves
Unleashing chaos from fists of fury in a bid to release
this hold which is my achilles heel she wears like her heels
Fixated on skin as brown and sweet as chocolate
I play the scores and I would always lose the bet
for I always let love take the lead
Her addiction as my obsession is all i need
Am your Iron man and the only thing stopping my heart is a kiss
to mend this Broken love even cupids arrow couldn’t pierce through
this heart made of steel she chose to steal
and when she was through she threw a love he deemed true
Like a storm that wouldn’t be still
emotions falls like an angel from grace
Till nothing is left but waste